Shining Avengers
by Sonicsuns
Summary: The exploits of an AU version of the Avengers.
1. Tonya's Milk Run

_Author's Note: This is my first entry in the Shining Avengers series, which features an all-girl team of Avengers. Each character differs from its 616 counterpart in several ways; being female is just one part of it. Anyway, they say that a good way to explore new characters is to put them in everyday situations and see how they react. Put them on a "milk run", in other words. So I decided to do just that._

Milk Run - Tonya Stark (Iron Lady)

Tonya stared at the inside of the fridge. "Bria! Where's the milk?"

"Bria's not here" came the diminutive reply. "And besides, she got milk yesterday."

Tonya glanced with annoyance at Emily Hecatatian, the 10-year-old sorceress who had recently joined the team. The kid was too clever to really show it, but Tonya could _just about_ detect some smugness in her voice.

"I don't want to drink your crappy lactose-free stuff! Where's the _real_ milk?"

"Why, are you planning to eat some cookies?"

"No, I'm gonna power a nuclear reactor YES I WANT SOME COOKIES. Is that a crime?"

"I just wonder what you loyal fans would think."

Tonya closed the fridge and walked over to the couch in the next room. "What are you talking about?"

"Just imagine: Tonya Stark, the world's greatest rock star...eating _milk and cookies_. It'll be all over the tabloids."

Tonya flopped onto the couch.

"Bitch, if I get seen eating milk and cookies, it'll be the sexiest thing since Elvis. Everyone will copy me, it'll get super big, and I'll probably write an album about it."

"You're not supposed to swear in front of kids."

"You _like_ it when I swear."

Emily smiled. "Yeah, I do."

"Yeah, well, it's kindof irrelevant now, since I don't have any milk."

"You could always try the lactose -"

"I'm not drinking your stupid lactose-free stuff! Geez, it tastes terrible."

Tonya buried her face in a pillow.

"Why don't you just buy some?" said Emily

Tonya grunted.

Emily smiled mockingly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is that too _difficult_ for you? Iron Lady thinks she can save the universe single-handed, but when when push comes to shove, she can't even get a jug of milk without _somebody_ holding her hand."

Tonya turned sharply to face her. "Is that a challenge?"

"Yeah."

Tonya leapt up and slammed her hands on the coffee table. " _Fine_ "

She grabbed at her watch and hit the activation sequence. A wicked guitar solo erupted from the tiny speakers. She heard a familiar voice in her earpiece: "Iron Lady activation sequence: Commencing". Brushing Emily aside, she rose to her feet and strode confidently toward the floor-to-ceiling windows at the edge of the room. A panel opened up in floor, and the Iron Lady suit emerged from below. It bristled with electric power, as the disembodied guitar kept wailing.

"Um" said Emily, "you could just _walk_ to the store."

Tonya stepped into the suit, which closed around her with perfect synchronicity. Just before she put on the helmet, she turned back to her young companion.

"Bitch, I am _Iron Lady_. I don't do _anything_ small."

She snapped the helmet onto her head. "All systems functional", said the robo-voice. The windows in front of her slid away, yielding to the wind outside. Tonya took only a moment to gaze down at the 50-story drop. "I'll be back!" she yelled, and leapt out of the window.

She allowed herself to plummet 30 stories before she hit the thrusters, then she went straight for the horizon. "Jarvis," she said to the onboard computer, "activate external speakers". The guitar solo - which was still ongoing - poured out of the suit in all directions. (She also hacked a bunch of nearby speakers, though that was _technically_ against the law.) She went straight for Times Square, since it was all foot traffic now and had the biggest crowds. She loved doing this sort of thing; bolting out of the blue, trailing awesomeness like fire in the wake of a comet. She performed mid-air stunts for a minute, just to drag it out and watch the crowd get bigger and wilder. There were some who said this sort of thing made her a public nuisance, but as far as Tonya was concerned, those were just lousy fun-killers who couldn't appreciate the raw beauty of _rock_.

"What's up Times Square?!" she bellowed through the speakers. The crowd roared back in response. "Here's the deal: First person to get me a jug of milk gets a free autograph! Who's it gonna be?!" Suddenly the crowd started scurrying, and it wasn't long before people started throwing full-gallon milk jugs at her.

"Woah!" she said as she caught one "Alright! Let me see ya!"

She hovered closer to the lucky winner: A teen girl with purple hair, a black leather jacket, and a freaking electic guitar! Tonya approached and the kid stood her ground, but you could tell she was awestruck. Tonya laid the milk jug on the ground, and with a flick of her eyes, she activated the "Autograph pen" function in her left guantlet. "You get a signature, kid. But first, you know how to play that thing?"

The teen glanced down at the guitar "Yes ma'am!"

"Then show us what you got!" Tonya waved a hand and her own pre-recorded music stopped. She grabbed the cord coming from the teen's guitar and plugged it into her own suit. The crowd went nearly silent.

The teen hesitated for only a moment. Then she played a single note, as if testing the system. Another note followed, followed quickly by another and and another soon she was shredding and a rapid speed, and the crowd loved it.

"YEAH!" shouted Tonya. "Let me sign that!" She signed the back of the guitar, then flew off with a friendly salute. "Give my agent a call, kid! We'll see what we can do for you!" She soared back towards Avengers Tower, leaving the crowd in her wake. She wanted to stick around longer, but she knew the golden rule of showmanship: Always leave them wanting more. Besides, they had that purple-haired kid to entertain them.

She flew back up to the window she had come from. The panels closed behind her as she entered, and hovered triumphantly to the floor. Emily was still standing there.

"How's about _that_?" she yelled, still smiling inside.

"Well you certainly got their attention", said Emily.

"You bet I did."

"You're all over the internet right now. I've been checking."

"That's what I do best, kid"

"Hey, quick question: Did you get any milk?"

Tonya glanced down at her empty hands. "Damn it!"


	2. Bria's Milk Run

Bria Banner eyed the grocery store refrigerator carefully. Left. Right. Left. Right. The left side contained jugs of Old Ork Orchard Lactose-Free Milk with Omega 3, but the right side contained Classic-Style HappyCow Homemade Lactose-Free Milk with Vitamin D. The more she considered it, the more puzzling it got. Vitamin D was effective in preventing rickets, but Omega 3s were said to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease. Of course Vitamin D could be synthesized from sun exposure but it _had_ been slightly cloudier than usual the last 14 days, but hadn't she heard something about UV light penetrating cloud cover? And what effect might there be from the weakening of the ozone layer, though she reminded herself that was not _at present_ stationed in Antarctica, where the threat was far higher, but then again what if they _did_ go to Antarctica? Wouldn't it be nice to have some nice Vitamin D lactose-free milk?

There was only one way to answer the question: Science!

She took out her phone and started running calculations. Then she took some folded-up paper from her pocket, unfolded it, and started making notes. Awhile later she was interrupted by a voice from behind.

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

Bria jumped.

"I'm gonna have to ask you to stop drawing molecular diagrams on the floor."

Bria gave an embarrassed gasp and looked around her. Three hours had passed, she had long since run out of paper, and since then she had filled up about 4 square meters of floor space with diagrams and calculations.

"Ohmygosh I'm so sorry!" she started, "I just so caught up in the research. Did you know how the double-bonded carbon at the end of Omega 3 affects its absorption in the -"

"Ma'am"

"Ohmygosh, I'm sorry. You're right. I'll clean it up. And then I'll...I'll just...buy both of them?" She said with an embarrassed grin.

The manager remained monotone. "That would be fine, ma'am. Except we're closed now."

Overhead, the lights started to switch off.

"Darn it", said Bria.

Back at Avengers Tower, Tonya was busy with the important task of playing with her phone. Bria walked in, obviously exhausted, and sat on the couch. She slumped against Tonya's side.

"Hey, honey" said Bria, in a dispirited voice.

"What's up?"

"I didn't buy any milk."

"Got distracted?"

"Mm-hm."

"Did you hulk out?"

Bria paused a moment. "Nope."

Tonya turned to face her, and kissed the top of her head.

"Well I'd call that a win."

Bria gave a sleepy smile.


	3. Pickles

Emily Hecatian, the 10-year old sorceress at Avengers Tower, was feeling hungry. She opened the refrigerator and stared intently.

"Hm...there's nothing good in here."

Suddenly she spotted a hint of gold, way in the back. She plowed through all the other stuff in the way, and soon extracted a jar of pickles with a shiny gold lid. But when she tried to open it, it wouldn't budge.

"Need some help?" said a voice from behind. Emily looked up to see Stephanie Rogers. "Well, alright" said Emily. She didn't like asking for help, but she was _super_ hungry right then.

Steph took the jar and began twisting, but it _still_ didn't come off.

"Oh, this is rich" said Tonya, entering the room. "The great Captain America can't open a jar of pickles? What, does your super-serum have an expiration date?"

"It's surprisingly difficult" grunted Steph.

"Hand it over" said Tonya. "We're gonna do this with _science_."

Moments later, the pickle jar was stuck in a vice, and the lid was outfitted with tiny rockets around the edge. "Hang on" said Tonya casually, and she hit a button. The tiny rockets fired, but the lid still didn't budge. "What the hell?" She boosted the power. She boosted it again. The jar began shaking

"Tonya," said Steph, "are you sure this is such a good-"

Suddenly the jar flew out of its vice and started flying around the room, smashing into everything as it went. They all ducked for cover.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" shouted Steph.

Bria walked in. "What's going on here?" Then the rocket-jar of pickles struck her straight in the forehead.

"Uh oh" said Emily.

Bria's face contorted, and then suddenly she morphed into the hulk! She grabbed at the pickle jar and wrenched at the lid with all her strength, but to everyone's surprise, it still refused to budge! Finally she collapsed and returned to her normal form. The jar of pickles lay unblemished on the countertop. Everyone else lay in a haphazard heap upon the floor.

"What's all the commotion?" asked Thora, entering the room

"We just can't open this jar of pickles!" yelled Tonya from the heap.

"Well of course you can't" said Thora, "they're mine!"

She twisted the cap and it popped of instantly. She showed them the label.

"Mjolnir-brand pickles. Only the worthy may eat them."


	4. A War of Ideals

_Author's note: The first three chapters were funny, but this one is dead serious. I'm trying different things._

The neo-nazis were on the march. One of those damn "peaceful protests" that they kept going on about, as if _Nazis_ had anything to say about peace. It made Alice sick to her stomach.

The neo-nazis were on the march, not in Germany but right _here_ , here in America! And she'd spent so many months just getting riled up about it before she finally realized that she had to _do_ something. That's what it meant to be a hero, to be like Captain America. You had to take a _stand_. So she bought a pistol, and loaded it up with armor-piercing bullets, and now she lay in wait.

The anticipation was killing her. She could hear them now. The footsteps falling in unison, just like soldiers. "Commander" Gretchen was at the front, of course, spewing her garbage to the masses. Alice tightened her grip on the pistol until her fingers began to go numb. Nothing would matter after this. All she had to do was kill a Nazi, just eliminate one goddamned Nazi piece of _shit_ , and she would be a hero. All her debts wiped clean. All her sins amended. And she would get to see that godamned traitor _die_. She visualized it: The shot would take Gretchen in the chest, perhaps. Better yet, the _throat_. Cut her off right in the middle of her goddamned speech, in the middle of a _word_. Watch her face contort with pain and fear as the blood starts gushing. And maybe she'd see. Maybe she'd _see_. She'd look right into Alice's eyes, and she'd be full of terror and Alice would stare back at her with nothing more than contempt. Or perhaps... _glee_.

They were coming now. She braced for the moment that would change her life forever. The voices drew closer...closer...NOW!

She spun into the light, raising her weapon as she did so. And there was the bastard: Right at the front. Alice's arm extended the pistol eagerly, and the world seemed to slow. Gretchen saw the gun. Alice pulled the trigger.

The shot rang out like thunder.

But in the next instant, before the thunder was even complete, there was another sound as well. The sound of a .45 caliber bullet bouncing off a old vibranium shield. A shield she had seen and worshiped a hundred times before. And there stood Captain America, facing her, protecting the Nazis from her wrath.

Alice was so stunned that she forgot to fire the other bullets. It was surreal. For a moment she wondered if there had been some terrible accident. Maybe she had targeted the wrong protest. Maybe this was some _other_ protest! Maybe they weren't Nazis at all...but as her vision cleared, she saw the swastikas on their arms, and Gretchen's unmistakable features. And there between them, still, was Captain America.

"You…." stammered Alice. The gun shook in her hand. "You...why…why, WHY?!"

Stephanie Rogers rose, slowly. Her eyes were filled with resolve and pain. The eyes of soldier.

"Why?" muttered Alice again. The gun fell to the ground; she was scarcely aware that she had ever dropped it.

Stephanie spoke. "Alice...I took an oath….to defend the Constitution of the United States. Everyone has the right to free speech…not just heroes."

"They're _Nazis!_ " she snapped, suddenly enraged.

" _No one_ gets to draw first blood, Alice. You know that. They haven't attacked you yet. They haven't attacked anyone. They haven't tried."

She took a step forward. "This is _free speech_ , Alice. You cannot respond with violence."

Alice looked up at her, and began to tremble. "I just….I just wanted to be hero, Cap. I wanted to be a hero!" She was screaming now, and sobbing. She leaned into Stephanie's chest and wailed. And then, for a fleeting moment, the great hero embraced her and whispered "I'm sorry". Then the handcuffs snapped onto her wrists, and policewoman pulled her away.

Stephanie watched silently as they pushed Alice into the back of the squad car. The Nazis behind her stood in silence as well, waiting for their leader to guide them. Finally, Gretchen stepped forward, reaching out for Stephanie's shoulder.

"Captain-"

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

The Nazis jumped. Gretchen felt her heart skip a beat. She knew then and there that Stephanie could have killed them all, if she had chosen to. Everyone knew of the prowess of Captain America, but it was something else entirely to see her _rage_ , unvarnished and in person.

Stephanie turned around again. She couldn't stand the sight of them. Any of them. "You want to thank me?" she bellowed, "Take off that uniform. And burn it."

She walked away. She told herself that she had other things to do.

Alice would be in prison soon. The least she could do was visit.


End file.
